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Post by Indian »

Hmm.. didn't notice the thread before. Though, it sounds like recycled stuff(amazing that poster's name in nothing new :)). Gives the new guys something to post I guess.


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Post by Sandeep »

Ofcourse yes, I am not some kushwanth singh to make My own Jokes :D . All are probably recycled stuff, but when I read them first they were new.


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Post by Sandeep »

After digging to a depth of 100 meters last
year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire
dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion
that their ancestors already had a telephone network
one thousand years ago. So, not to be outdone, in the
weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200
meters and headlines in theUS papers read: "US
scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical
fibers, and have concluded that their ancestors
already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000
years earlier than the Russians." One week later,
Indian newspapers reported the following:"After
digging as deep as 5000 meters, Indian scientists have
found absolutely nothing.They have, therefore,
concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were
already using mobile phones :bounce: .


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Post by Indian »

Though this one is not as good a joke as posted by nothingnew, but still quite funny. In a recent interview published by Rediff below, Rabri Devi again points out to her famous defense against not being able to read:
http://in.rediff.com/election/2005/feb/21einter1.htm

Code: Select all

You can hardly read or write. How do you manage?

So what? Does the prime minister of India read all the papers put before him? Or does the President? Officers read on their behalf. I also have officers who read. Why do you have secretaries in each department? 
Guess it's about time her secretary reads out resumes of current President and Prime Minster to her. :) We are talking about an eminent scientist and an eminent economist here.
And, does she know that it is possible to learn to read and write in 8 years!
The whole interview is full of these quotes. Though, I don't know whether to laugh or cry about the ignorant politicans and voters who elect them. :(
Last edited by Indian on Mon Feb 21, 2005 8:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.


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Post by Sandeep »

What Indian posted is a Real Joke. It is a real shame to have some one like Rabri Devi as Chief Minister :damn: .


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Post by Sandeep »

Some of the great english mistakes by American president.

The vast majority of our imports come from outside
the country." - George W. Bush

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -
George W. Bush

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any
Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'." -
Governor George W. Bush

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made
good judgments in the future." - Governor George W.
Bush

"The future will be better tomorrow." - Governor
George W. Bush

"We're going to have the best educated American people
in the world." - Governor George W. Bush

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." -
Governor George W. Bush

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of
NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a
part of Europe." - Governor George W. Bush

"Public speaking is very easy." - Governor George W.
Bush

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people
going to the polls." - Governor George W. Bush

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may
not occur." - Governor George W. Bush

"For NASA, space is still a high priority." - Governor
George W. Bush

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that
teach our children." - Governor George W. Bush

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.
It's the impurities in our air and water that are
doing it." - Governor George W. Bush

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar
system." - Governor George W. Bush


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Post by jayakris »

Some other lines from Bush --

"The hispanically owned businesses are successful"

"A large fraction of our imports come from abroad"

"We did not have any subliminable messages in the advertisement"

What I find extremely interesting is that a lot of what Bush says are not because he does not know the language or is unintelligent or any of that. In fact, you cannot get an idiot to come up with those kinds of lines. He does have some sort of a rare brain/speech abnormality that is not fully understood yet.

Jay


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Post by Sandeep »

Jay, I mentioned the imports thing in my post :D . Bush claims his english as Bushism if I am right. Actually, he is doing the right thing, believeing in what he does. Probably tomorrow we see many of them trying to copy Bush. His speeches may set a standard like, use our own words as lons as other people can understand what you say.

Actually Bush speech reminded me my chairman's sppech on annual day eve. He said " I have two daughters and both are girls" :bounce: .


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Post by BSharma »

I am not a Bush supporter but an important job of a leader is to communicate well with his countrymen, and Bush does that better than many politicians who are great orators.


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Post by PKBasu »

Talking about American Presidents in Europe.

Both John F. Kennedy and Bill Clinton spoke German well, the latter especially so (hence his friendship with Helmut Kohl, which also thrived on their large appetites).

But clearly Kennedy's knowledge of the nuances of German colloquialisms was very limited.

When he went to Berlin at the height of the Cold War, he famously said, "Ich Bich ein Berliner". It was a moment of high rhetoric and emotion in his speech. Kennedy thought he was expressing solidarity with the people of that city by saying, "I (too) am a citizen of Berlin (now)".

But a snicker tickled through the crowd, and soon turned to a collective guffaw. Poor JFK was thunderstruck and bemused. What his words had translated to in colloquial German was: "I am a doughnut".

The denizens of Berlin probably thought it was somehow apt that an American president should think of himself as a doughnut.


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Post by Sandeep »

Ha Ha, today Jay mentioned about Benjamin Xavier. I actually searched for him on net and came to know that he won an ITF Grade 5 Junior tournament in 2000. And in the process I got hold of Links of my sports school: -

http://www.expressindia.com/ie/daily/19 ... 50593.html


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Post by Sandeep »

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/arti ... 030100.cms


Read this article. The funniest i have posted so far.


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Post by Indian »

Now this is fresh stuff! Guy has a good future in Indian politics. :)


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Post by BSharma »

The funny (or sad) part is that it is not the first time someone has pulled off a fast one in the Indian newspapers.


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Post by Sandeep »

It happens everytime in India. I don't know how many of you have heard of Kola Bhaskar. He hails from Andhra Pradesh. He convinced everyone that he won lottery in England worth some 20 or 30 crores. And showing that lotterry ticket he took loans worth crores from bank. He publicized this in news papers too. He then signed some big hero in for his movie. And asked her amount of 60 lakhs to start shooting and he told he will repay it as soon as he gets money. But he did nothing. He enjoyed banks money, he enjoyed with hero in's money and then went to Jail. Actually he never won any lottery. And there is a gossip going on that the heroin is Simran.