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Sandeep
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Post by Sandeep »

I am sorry if anyone got offended by this.

Edited and removed by site admin-Dhruv


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BSharma
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Post by BSharma »

There are some things that are funny and some things that are inappropriate. I object to the placement of such kinds of posts and it should be deleted.

Posts like this can also result in vandalism of our forum.


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Post by jayakris »

Damn, it seems like I missed all the fun .. Whatever it was!

Jay


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Sandeep
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Post by Sandeep »

Jay, it was about pakistan maths question paper. I thought it was pretty funny. Bsharma there was nothing so offensive in that to turn out into vandalism. But anyway I expected this action from Dhruv. It was just a joke. Just becasue pakistan was involved in it, you thought it was pretty delicate. If it was the question paper of some other country I am sure it you wouldn't have deleted. In our forum we make sarcastic comments on India too which is our own country. I don't know why it becomes pretty serious when pakistan is involved. That is why I urged first only, just to take it as a joke and not to make or draw conclusions from it.


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Post by Sandeep »

Here's is another joke on defintions :-

Atom Bomb: An invention made to end all inventions.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late
when you are
early.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with
fire at one end &
a fool on the other.
Classic: A book which people praises, but do not read.
College: A place where some pursue learning and others
learn pursuing.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually
and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way
that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the
number present.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody
listens &
everybody disagrees later on.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except
that he got
caught.
Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before
marriage.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such
a way that you
actually looks forward to the trip.
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and
kills you with his
bills.
Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel
a feeling you
have never felt before.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more
than you
actually do.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the
notes of the
lecturer to the notes of the students without passing
through "the
minds of either".
Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day
internationals are
more popular than a five-day test.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his
bachelor degree
and woman gains her master.
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die
rich.
Office: A place where you can relax after your
strenuous home life.
Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower
says in
midway "See I am not injured yet."
Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he
accidentally falls
into a river.
Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter
in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life,
to be spoken of
when dead.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections
and your
Confidence after.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine
will-power is defeated
by feminine waterpower.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open
their mouth.

Nothing serious, just enjoy it as joke laugh and leave it. Don't carry any message from these kind of posts.


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Post by BSharma »

Sandeep,

Do read what Dhruv had posted as a warning in this forum. (Rise in Indian Web site defacement in Jan ).

We have people from Pakistan who visit this forum regularly, and we now follow a couple of Pakistani tennis players. What goes on this site is becoming known in many parts of the world.

The math contest generalizes all Pakistanis to be terrorists.


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Post by Sandeep »

Well I am sorry if it was so offensive. Well I apologise to all pakistanis if at all you have read that and found offensive. I have nothing personal against pakistan and I respect that country like any other one. Well we in India make sarcastic remarks on India itself. It does not imply to the whole lot of Indians. It is very delicate to discuss here, I will write a personal mail to Bsharma regarding this.


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Post by BSharma »

Sandeep,

You do not have to apologize to me or anyone else. You did not intend to harm the Pakistanis and posted it for fun sake. My concern was about some enraged Pakistani spoiling this website because they would have not found it funny.

Making fun of ourselves is another matter. :D


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Post by Sandeep »

"Eerie Coincidence"

Especially the last part!.....



Look what happens when a President gets elected in a year with a "0"
at end.

1840: William Henry Harrison (died in office)
1860: Abraham Lincoln (assassinated)
1880: James A. Garfield (assassinated)
1900: William McKinley (assassinated)
1920: Warren G. Harding (died in office)
1940: Franklin D. Roosevelt (died in office)
1960: John F. Kennedy (assassinated)
1980: Ronald Reagan (survived assassination attempt)
2000: George W. Bush ????????????

And to think that we had two guys fighting it out in the courts to be the one elected in 2000.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You might also be interested in this!
Have a history teacher explain this if they can!

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born ! in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford".
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford".

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the "kicker":

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

AND.....................:

Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse...
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater...


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Post by gvhvhg »

2000: George W. Bush
haha YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

however i am a bit disheartened by the fact that the predecesor on this list, Reagan survived his assasination attempt....this might indicate that the trend is ending :damn: :damn: :devil:


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Post by vkd_1717 »

The second bit is freaky


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Post by Sandeep »

THE BEST OF THE WORST
THE WORST HIJACKING
We shall never know the identity of the man who in 1976 made the
most unsuccessful hijack attempt ever. On a flight across America, he
rose from his seat, drew gun and took the stewardess hostage. "Take me to Detroit," he demanded. "We're already going to Detroit," she replied. "Oh ... good," he said, and sat down again.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE WORST BANK ROBBERY

In August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank of Scotland at Rothesay, when they got stuck in the revolving doors. They had to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone,
sheepishly left the building. A few minutes later they returned and announced their intention of robbing the bank, but none of the staff believed them. When they demanded 5,000 pounds in cash, the head cashier laughed at them, convinced that it was a practical joke. Then one of the men jumped over the counter, but fell to the floor clutching his ankle. The other two tried to make their getaway, but got trapped in the revolving doors again.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUE

During the firemen's strike of 1978, the British Army had taken over
emergency fire fighting and on 14 January they were called out by an
elderly lady in South London to retrieve her cat which had become trapped up a tree. They arrived with impressive haste and soon discharged their duty. So grateful was the lady that she invited them all in for tea. Driving off later, with fond farewells completed, they ran over the cat and killed it!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LAWYERS VS INSURANCE

This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the
century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars,then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued .. and won! In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated, nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire, and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine. This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.


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Post by Dhruv »

Nice joke about the lawyer but not a true story, but an urban legend.

http://www.breakthechain.org/exclusives/cigars.html

http://www.guardian.co.uk/law/story/0,3 ... 15,00.html


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Post by Sandeep »

Dhruv, did you read about this before also. How come you got those two sites as soon as I posted this. Looks like you have read this before. And was the nice joke comment sarcastic? :D

If this incident is not real, then I guess the above ones are also just stories.


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Post by jayakris »

sandeep - have you heard of google? :)

Jay