Just for Fun

[x_y_Z_a]

Light and Birth

Deep in the back woods,of Letcher County Kentucky a Hillbilly's
wife went into labor in the middle of the night,
and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was
no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here.
You hold this high so I can see what I am doing!."


Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa
there", said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down
I think theres another one coming."


Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby
girl. "Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" Said
the doctor.

Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby "No, don't be in a hurry to
put down that lantern, it seems theres yet another one coming!" cried the
doctor.

The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, .. . . .


.

.

.


.




"You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?"

[x_y_Z_a]

Pado aur Haso 

Ek din, main Delhi pahuncha,
Station pe ek coolie se bahar jane ka rasta pooncha.
Coolie ne kaha: "Bahar jaake poocho."


Maine khud hi rasta dhundh liya,
Bahar jaake taxiwale se pooncha:
"Bhai saab Lal Kile ka kitna loge?"
Jawab mila: "Bechna nahi hai."


Taxi chod, maine bus pakad li,
Conductor se pooncha: "Ji, kya mein cigarette pi
sakta hoon?"
Wo gurrra kar bola: "Hargiz nahi, yaha cigarette
pina mana hai."
Maine kaha: "Par wo janab to pi rahe hai!"
Phir se gurrrraya: "Usne mujhse pooncha nahi hai."


Lal Kile pahucha, hotel gaya.
Manager se kaha: "Mujhe room chahiye, satvi manzil
pe."
Manager ne kaha: "Rahane ke liye ya koodne ke liye?"
Room pahucha, waiter se kaha:
"Ek paani ka gilas milega?"
Usne jawab diya: "Nahi sahab, yahan to saare kanch
ke milte hain."


Hotel se nikla, dost ke ghar jaane ke liye,
Raste me ek sahab se pooncha:
"Janab, ye sadak kaha ko jaati hai?"
Janab hans kar bole: "Peechle bees saal se dekh
rahan hoon,
Yahi padi hai... kahin nahin jaati."


Dost ke ghar pahucha, to mujhe dekhte hi chownk
pada,
Usne poocha: "Kaise aana hua?"
Ab tak to mujhe bhi aadat pad gayi thi,
Maine bhi jawab diya: "Train se."


Meri aaobhagat karne ke liye dost ne apni biwi se
kaha:
"Areeee sunti ho... mera dost pehli baar ghar aaya
hai,
Uuse kuch taja taja khilao."
Sunte hi bhabhiji ne ghar ki sari
khidkiya aur darwaje khol diye.
Kaha: "Taji hawa kha lijiye."


Dost ne phir se baday pyar se biwi se kaha:
"Areeee sunti ho, inhe jara apna chalis saal purana
aachar to dikhana."
Bhabiji ek baatli me rakha aachar le aayi.
Maine bhi apnapan dikhate hue bhabiji se kaha:
"Bhabhiji, aachar sirf dikhayengi, chakhayengi
nahi?"
Bhabiji ne taak jawab diya: "Yuhi agar sab ko
chakhati
To aachar chalis saal purana kaise hota?"


Thodi der baad dekha, bhabiji apne potey ko sula rah
thi,
Saath me lori bhi ga rahi thi:
"Diploma so ja, diploma so ja."
Lori soon mein hairan hua aur dost se poocha:
"Yaar, ye diploma kya hai?"
Dost ne jawab diya: "Mere grandson ka naam,
Beti bambai gayi thi, diploma lene ke liye
Aur saath mein ise le aayi,
Isiliye hamne iska naam Diploma rakh diya."
Phir maine pooncha: "Aajkal tumhari beti kya kar
rahi hai?"
Dost ne jawab diya: "Bambai gayi hai, degree lene ke
liye."

[jayakris]

entavADO tAn I ezhutiyatu?
enikkyu I vaDakkan bhAsha onnum aRiyattilla.
englIshil paRanjukUDE?
Down, down, Hindi imposition!!

Kidding.  Actually I just wanted to post some crap to celebrate my 11111th post, that's all .. Sorry to waste your time

Jay

[x_y_Z_a]

Reason why one should never visit a 5 * Hotel

Question : " What would you like to have ..Fruit
juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"

Answer: " tea please "

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey
bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"

Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? Black or white ?"

Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ? "

Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"

Answer: "With cow milk please.

Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner
cow?"

Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or
honey? "

Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"

Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"

Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of
water instead."

Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "

Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"

Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst


 

[Sandeep]

What can you do but lose the point when something like this happens. Hopefully it will happen to her while playing Sania

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwytAzyfZ2w

[Sandeep]

This is even better http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwytAzyfZ2w

[Sathya]

This is even better http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwytAzyfZ2w

Saandeep, I guess you posted the same link as the previous post.

[sanjay5goel]

What can you do but lose the point when something like this happens. Hopefully it will happen to her while playing Sania

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwytAzyfZ2w

You don't have to hope.
This actually happened during Anna's match with Sania (It was the final where Sania lost tamely).

Sanjay

[jayakris]

Yeah, you beat me to it.  It did happen while playing Sania and we all saw it.  It was funny.  Jay

[prasen9]

Reading the good doc's top-10 posts is always a lot of fun.  It made me remember of funny posts on web forums.  While I used to lurk around at rec.sport.cricket, I read this poster whose name was "Perumselva Pandiyan".  There were some classic posts from him that were pretty amusing (if at all you understood what he was saying).  I will give some pointers here and perhaps create a few more fans for him.  If this is not your type of humor, I apologize.  If you have a few minutes to kill on a Friday or weekend, read these:

Go to:
http://in.rediff.com/cricket/2005/apr/1 ... s.htm  [ search for Pandiyan]
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.spor ... a484c83e82
http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/De ... oni05.html [ search for Kembli]

Perhaps he is a fake, but it was hilarious nonetheless.  It is too bad some of his masterpieces got lost,  he has quite a fan following at rsc.  People had starting posting in Pandiyan-speak after his first post and there are a lot of fake posts there.

p.s. I will delete this post if people find it objectionable because it is sort of off-topic for the forum.

[puneets]

Golf and Cricket

http://youtube.com/watch?v=2SRDB-KCx_w
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Hr7I2DV5ZMw

[Sandeep]

sorry, the second link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuLhJlMS ... ed&search=

[gbelday]

Probably doesn't belong here but it has got to be a joke...

Indians healthiest in the world
http://www.rediff.com/news/2007/sep/21health.htm

I thought India was the diabetes capital of the world.

[nballa]

Probably doesn't belong here but it has got to be a joke...

Indians healthiest in the world
http://www.rediff.com/news/2007/sep/21health.htm

I thought India was the diabetes capital of the world.

the indians are yet to substitute water for coke in their lunches and dinners.
and make no mistake that day will arrive, sooner than we might expect.

economy and health are inversely proportaional. improved economy means more money and less time which directly translates to more burgers and faster food.
in the 1980's and early 1990's most middle class indians had coke mayb once a month and eating outside was extremely rare(with the exception of roadside nudils or nooduls or newdils).  college going students used to play some sport after classes, now they are heading over to sit their asses at a call center. 
the gen-next indians are so screwed they dont even know about it.

[jai_in_canada]

economy and health are inversely proportaional.

Most studies show the opposite.  Good nutrition and fitness in urban centers are directly proportional to income level.  Which surprises me, because the healthiest foods are often the cheapest.  Fresh fruits, vegetables, rice, wheat flour, lentils, milk is cheaper than processed, canned and frozen consumer foods. 

My conclusion is that it is not so much the economic situation as much as knowledge of health, willingness to live healthy, and time pressures. 

I do agree with your comment about the next generation Indians being screwed, especially the upwardly mobile middle class.  And it is not just health wise.  There is also a degradation in values and spirituality.  Blind aping of the lifestyle shown in Western commercials and TV shows is bound to take its toll.  I think they are throwing the baby out with the bath water.  This is a great opportunity for young people to take the best of both worlds.  Not sure that's happening.  I hope I'm wrong.

P.S. I am starting to sound like a stuffy old guy!  May be I have become one!