Top-10 reasons why Dr.Sharma heard "This-is-not-your-time"

[BSharma]

David Letterman has made "Top Ten list" famous by having it in his show every night.  It is a way to poke fun at someone, ourselves, or at a particular situation, and is meant to be taken in good spirit.  I have enjoyed reading and making Top Ten lists, and will share some of them in the forum.  The top ten list is amusing if the topic is timely (comedy is all about timing), and if the writer does not cross the line from being witty to obnoxious.  I will ask forgiveness in advance if you find it hateful.

Please feel free to add your comments to the top ten list, or make one up and post it in this thread.

Top Ten signs that Indian cricket team is getting cocky:

10.  Deliberately left out Ganguly in the third test against Sri Lanka.

9.  Had “India” engraved on the trophy before the Sri Lankan team arrived in India for the test series.

8.  Indian players were signing autographs in the outfield while fielding.

7.  Used a tennis ball instead of the SG cricket ball when Sri Lankan team was batting.

6.  Match started at 10 a.m.; the players rolled out of bed at 9:30.

5.  Indian players indulged in sledging each other rather than the visiting team.

4.  Made the top order of the batting line up to score less than 100 runs and still win the match.

3.  Indian players ordered Kingfisher and tandori chicken when play was stopped for drinks.

2.  Dravid found the cricket computer game more challenging while recuperating in the hospital.

...and the drum roll please (and your forgiveness)

1.  The team added Mr KPS Gill as an advisor to get some pointers on how to lose a match.

Addendum:
David Letterman's Top Ten list at Late Show on CBS

[jaydeep]

1. The team added Mr KPS Gill as an advisor to get some pointers on how to lose a match.

Simply masterstroke Bhushan ...

Jaydeep.

[BSharma]

Top ten reasons why Indians are the best in the world:

10. British invented cricket, but we made it lucrative.

9. We make Watergate look like a child’s play.

8. Jayalalithaa and Laloo - need I say more?

7. Microsoft Corporation – worth billions of dollars; without us – worth a million and some small change.

6. Yoga and chicken tikka masala, just for starters.

5. Other countries produce sports stars; we Super Size ours - Sachin and Sania.

4. The Times of India – we make the tabloids in UK and USA look amateurish

3. Bollywood – we make Hollywood originals look damn good.

2. Ruled by a Muslim President, a Sikh Prime Minister and an Italian Queen.

and the #1 reason that we are the best....

1. Numerous languages and dialects, vibrant musical styles, various cuisines, many different cultures and traditions, several religions, political spectrum from far left to ultra-conservative right, varied colorful attire, an ever changing stunning landscape from north to south and from east to west, a billion plus population – ONE incredible Indian.

(Congratulations to each and every Indian for being what you are - an incredible Indian.)



(coming up next - Top Ten Sports-India related New Year's Resolutions from Me (Tongue in cheek version). I need to apologize to a few forum members in advance for the next Top ten list.)

[shaili]

Sharmaji,
Why not make a list of top ten Indian sportspersons who will make a mark in 2006 or sportspersons to watch out for.
Shaili

[BSharma]

Shaili,

It is a good idea to speculate about who would make a mark in 2006, but a Top Ten list (similar to David Letterman's) attempts to poke fun at people or situations. I would not have the heart to make fun of our players in a negative way.

[shaili]

.....I would not have the heart to make fun of our players in a negative way.

Could we then have a list which is a straightforward serious one and not in the 'jokes' section?
Maybe like a Sports-India top 10 sportspersons of 2005 and top 10 prospects for 2006. Since in any case the sportsperson of the year has been a foregone conclusion.
And I think we should leave out teams and stick to individuals.

[Kumar]

We could start a new thread to predict the Sania of 2006?

[BSharma]

I have to thank Shaili for her suggestion for this Top Ten list. Today is Christmas and many people around the world eagerly look forward to opening their gifts to see if they were "naughty or nice". I have modified Shaili’s suggestion to make a Top Ten list to see what our players wanted to get or got from Santa Claus this year. As always, I apologize in advance for any indiscretion on my part.

Top Ten list of what Indian Sports Stars received or wished to receive from Santa Claus:

10. Sachin Tendulkar: A second innings test century in Pakistan that is both “meaningful” and match winning to get the Sports-India critics off his back.

9. Mahesh Bhupathi: A good doubles partner to finish his tennis career with.

8. Leander Paes: A good life partner to spend the rest of his life with.

7. Karan Rastogi: A fire retardant tennis equipment and gear.

6. Rohan Bopanna: A miracle seed that will turn all clay courts into grass courts.

5. Harsh Mankad: A15 year permanently renewable contract.

4. Prakash Amritraj: A-year-long trip to the International Space Station for dad Vijay so he can finally have a real tennis coach.

3. Sania Mirza: A t-shirt that says, “I aced my way to #1”.

2. Saina Nehwal: A big fat endorsement check mailed to her with Sania misspelled as Saina.

1. Mr KPS Gill: A Santa Claus outfit so he can quit Indian hockey and become a permanent Santa Claus.

(Don’t you think that Mr. Gill with his long flowing white beard will look great as Santa Claus?)

[shaili]

In all likelyhood he might become 'The Grinch Who Stole Christmas'. And I am not joking.

[BSharma]

Nice one Shaili.

[BSharma]

Winter is a time when Indians often travel or start making plans for a family vacation in spring or early summer. Air India comes into discussion if the journey involves travelling outside India. There was a time when Air India was the finest airline in the world and then its reputation took a nose dive. I have heard from a few friends who have used Air India recently that it has improved its service. I am using this thread as a platform to express some views - correct or incorrect - but all of them being in good spirits. My apology to those who are fans of Air India.

Top Ten signs that Air-India is improving:

10. Replaced chain smoking section with smoking section on all flights.

9. Management is considering dumping the Air India slogan: “Service with a Frown”.

8. In-flight entertainment now includes pirated latest Bollywood and Hollywood movies before they are released.

7. Flight attendants will now respond to requests for juice, milk or water from brown-skinned people whose names start with “Q” and “X”. (sorry Gautam, no milk for your child under this new scheme!)

6. Americans flying first class between USA and India will get a free one way ticket to Kabul or Baghdad.

5. Choice at time of check in: luggage reaching destination with passenger or in one piece.

4. New seating sections on plane – Fully drunk; Half-drunk; tea drinkers.

3. Complimentary wheel chair service at final destination for fully drunk passengers.

2. Laloo moves from Railway Ministry to CEO of Air India.

....and the drum roll please.....

1. Frequent flyer mileage is based on miles traveled by luggage and not by the passenger.

(Please share your good or bad Air India experiences. I hope I am not opening a new can of worms.)

[puneets]

ha ha..this is hilarious stuff. BSharma's top-ten list is a big hit now. Nobody will be spared.

(Please share your good or bad Air India experiences. I hope I am not opening a new can of worms.)

Here's the AI thread.

[puneets]

AI's frequent flier miles - How frequently you find a fly in your meal

just kidding.
jokes apart, AI's food is the best that I've had in any airline.

[BSharma]

Puneet wrote:

BSharma's top-ten list is a big hit now. Nobody will be spared.

I am not sure if the Top Ten list is a hit or not (it has less than 200 hits so far and more than half of them are mine as I sit and admire my work. ). But I am just warming up and it is true that "nobody will be spared" and that includes the forum members also. My apologies to Jimmy, Arjun, Jay, Dhruv and Sandeep in advance - you are my first targets ). The lists with their names are ready but it must first pass my "week" test - let it sit for a week for me to change my mind in case the comments are hateful.

[amr090]

i like it bhushanji...feel free to use me in the list as well:)